it's almost june. that means weddings and engagements enough to make you want to live on a deserted island just to avoid all of the gushing (I mean blushing...haha, silly me) brides and their flowers and engagment rings and honeymoons. I try not to let it get to me, but it seems more or less unavoidable. Seems like I just got through the last season and it's already back upon us. It seems that everyone is getting engaged. All I hear is so-and-so is getting married, or did you hear so-and-so's boyfriend popped the question in some fantasticly intricate planned out proposal.
ok, so, you're right in thinking that I'm jealous. I am. I want to have the beautiful proposal, the lovely wedding, the honeymoon, and (possibly the most important part) the marriage. But that's not to say that I'm chomping at the bit to tie the knot. I know it will happen when it's right to happen, and rushing things just spells disaster. I may be jealous, but that doesn't mean that I'm foolhardy. it's just a matter of being bombarded with the wedding season everywhere I look.
So, what ultimately comes from it all is the question: how do guys know they're ready? And the ones that do propose, well, what made them go for it? Are they just more grounded? Are they more romantic? are they more sensible, or maybe more lofty? or does it come down to simple horny-ness in the end? Oh, come on, we've all seen the relationships where both people are young and highly religious and they're suddenly getting married before they have even found out each other's middle names. You think that's because of truly undying love? Not to scoff on the whole idea of it, but let's be realistic right now. The only reasons that a 19 year old boy would settle down and agree to be with someone for the rest of his life are 1. he wants some, 2. he needs a mommy, and figures she'll do, or 3. he's amish.
So, where does the sudden and striking inspiration to get married come from in non-chaste relationships? Often I've found it's an ultimatum from the woman after several years of waiting. Sometimes a sense of doing the right thing if she's knocked-up. Often a sense of obligation, after the woman in question has "put in the time" and he figures he might as well. Let's face it, none of these reasons are particularly romantic. I'm sure there must be men out there who want to get married, and I'm sure there are men out there who will pop the question without any sort of prompting. I'd like to hear their stories.
1 comment:
J, when you find the answers to these questions can you let me know? I too am curious to know what the big realisation is and why a guy ultimantely decides to make things official? Also, why can't you and I avoid the freakin fever? Wine and mousse cups anyone???
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