settling things

I spent the day being mad at Brad. It's exhausting being miffed. And I'm tired to boot, and this morning at work was exhausting too. But I answered when he called. Even though I was miffed and wasn't really sure what I was going to say; I'm not very good at expressing my emotions when I'm upset...I was trained a few years ago that saying what you're upset about results in a bad conversations that usually included being told I'm wrong to feel that way, and even though I've unlearned that particular habit, it still doesn't come easily sometimes and I like to know what I'm going to say and be able to explain myself before getting into something. Besides the fact that having my own thoughts sorted out before hand makes things easier and clearer, there is really nothing more frustrating that having to try to dig out what you're upset about mid argument (because it always does become an argument when one person says "what's wrong" and gets the "I don't know" response). But we talked and I told him why I was upset and we worked it out. There were several reasons, including that I start to worry that he's dead in a ditch somewhere when I don't hear from him by midnight, and that while I wasn't worried last night, I have worried in the past and told him so I was upset that he didn't call, he should have known that I should have been worried last night and called to make sure I wouldn't. Ok, so some of the reasons behind the upset are silly, but they are still reasons. The bottom line is he knows I was upset, and he appologized, and said in the future he'd try to make sure he calls. And I guess that's all I can really ask for; that he make the effort. I especially don't want to be one of those girlfriends who nags and keeps tabs, but I think it's a little different when I'm expecting a call and don't get it and am worried and would just like to know that he's ok. I see it as respectful, and to not call is disrespectful. So I hope he understands it's not just that I worry, but that it feels like a slight to me when he doesn't call. The alternative, of course, is that I distance myself to the point where it doesn't matter to me if he calls or not...a thought that does not appeal to me at all. But like I said, we talked, he gets it, I feel better, and he likes that I worry.