drifting

I don't know how many times I've talked about how friendships change and people change and you only have so much time in the day and have to decide how to spend it and divide it among people. How that inevitably leaves people on the list that just don't get any time devoted to them...which is just the way the cookie crumbles really. How those friends get demoted to "aquaintances". That's always been my philosphy, and it always seemed to me to be the way the world works. Maybe it's just a way to cope, a defence mechanism so that when I slight someone (or get slighted) I can just say "well, that's the way the world works". I wonder if things aren't so cut and dried and maybe there's some grey area...then again...maybe not. Maybe it is that cut and dried.
I often surprise myself at how harsh I can be with friends. I'm more than willing to put in the time and energy with someone, but if that energy is not given back equally then it's a sort of three strikes rule. It's a harsh thing to do, but then again, why would I keep putting my time and energy into something that's just wasting my time and energy? That's not to say that if the lines of communication were ever brought up again I would sit there and say "screw you, you didn't have time for me six months ago, so I don't have time for you now"...I will respond and see how things go from there...but I won't be surprised if the connection fails again, and I certainly won't allow myself to feel hurt if it does.
It's one of those things that happens when people get older and start to have their own lives, and I would never begrudge someone that. It's just the way things go...but before you know it...well, who's left?

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On a completely unrelated note, I've been asked at least 8 times in the past month if I'm engaged yet. This is getting ridiculous. I'm not, and I promise, if I were, you would know. Thank you.