I just don't know...

I guess this product has been available for a while now, but it's only now available in Swift Current. A friend of mine told me she saw Peanut free Peanut Butter. Hmmm...
For as long as I can remember I've been allergic to peanuts (plus other nuts, shellfish, salmon, grass, tobacco, cats, rabbits, pollen, ...the list goes on). I've dealt with horrid classmates waving peanut butter sandwiches in my face just to make me feel uncomfortable. I've dealt with the people who don't believe I'm actually allergic (who don't believe in allergies, period), the people who know I'm allergic yet still serve un-safe foods when I'm at supper, and I've learned to check labels diligently and always know the risk associated with the foods that I'm eating. (I should also mention all of the amazing people who are so aware of my allergies and so considerate to go out of their way for me. I'm so grateful!)
Through it all I've become a stronger person I think (particularly from the taunting classmates...bunch of jerks), but I've also developed a mild paranoia. The smell of peanut butter makes me nervous. I start subtly glancing around the room to find who is eating the offending food, judge how far they are from me, whether my eyes will swell up or whether I'm safe, and predict whether they will touch something that I'm about to touch. I'm nervous, and frankly, when you've had to get doped up on Benedryl at the hospital for a few hours because you've come into contact with something potentially harmful, you would be too.
I had come to terms with the fact that I will never have reece's pieces, I will never enjoy a snickers bar, and I had come to terms with the fact that I would never know what having peanut butter stuck to the roof of my mouth feels like.
Until now. Now I have an option. Obviously, I would have no idea if the product actually tastes like the real thing (that's where a fellow taste tester comes into the equation), but I have the option of potentially finding out. I just don't know. The smell of the real stuff makes me scrunch my nose and run for hiding, but that might be a trained response. And if that's a trained response (survival instinct?) then who's to say I wouldn't have an anxiety attack if I tried this faux-butter?