The title of "boyfriend" and "girlfriend" is a tricky one. The point I'm getting at is that technically, Brad is my boyfriend. We are not married, so he is not my husband. We are not engaged, so he is not my fiance. The issue I have with the term is the broad spectrum of relationship stages it encompasses. To me, he is more than my boyfriend, yet, how do I get that across to people? The term "Partner" sounds so...lesbian. Yet, boyfriend, to anyone who is not familiar with the specifics of a relationship, sounds unstable. "Boyfriend"s come and go. How is it possible to get across to someone who doesn't know you that a relationship is secure when the term boyfriend has been used? I ask because I fear the term "boyfriend" may have sabotaged my chance of making a move in life, and I'm worried about doing damage control. Thoughts?
Thursday, November 23, 2006
the "Boyfriend" Conundrum
The title of "boyfriend" and "girlfriend" is a tricky one. The point I'm getting at is that technically, Brad is my boyfriend. We are not married, so he is not my husband. We are not engaged, so he is not my fiance. The issue I have with the term is the broad spectrum of relationship stages it encompasses. To me, he is more than my boyfriend, yet, how do I get that across to people? The term "Partner" sounds so...lesbian. Yet, boyfriend, to anyone who is not familiar with the specifics of a relationship, sounds unstable. "Boyfriend"s come and go. How is it possible to get across to someone who doesn't know you that a relationship is secure when the term boyfriend has been used? I ask because I fear the term "boyfriend" may have sabotaged my chance of making a move in life, and I'm worried about doing damage control. Thoughts?
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2 comments:
"hetero life mate" has a nice ring to it.
Jess, I couldn't agree with you more. When Brett and I hit the three year mark I was so desperate to get engaged because I was sick of calling him boyfriend. Especially when a friend of mine meets some lsoer at the bar and the next day is running around telling everyone she has a "boyfriend". Yeah...right.
I fought off the urge to just call him my fiance (worried of ruining the prestige when the real time came). So I would always sound like some snotty serious bitch and say "Brett's my boyfriend we've been together for over three years". It sounded lame but there's a big difference between what I consider a "boyfriend" and what others might. Thus not wanting to be "boyfriend and girlfriend" with a certain you know who. To me it should carry more merit and not be thrown around so lightly. There's my 27 cents.
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