Silent Night

I was walking through Sears this evening and felt so terribly lonely. I know, what a silly place to be lonely, but I was. The store wasn't very busy, but it wasn't deserted either. They were playing Christmas music, which under any other mood I would be furious to hear what with it being November 23rd, but it was an instrumental version of some Christmas carol and it reminded me of something. Some Christmas from years ago I go, not a specific time or a specific memory, more of a collage of all of the Christmases since I've been old enough to shop on my own. I saw a couple I know shopping, but I know them individually, so to see them as a couple made it seem really sweet. They were laughing and talking with someone they knew and I walked on by without saying anything. They didn't notice me anyway. I kept walking around the store looking at the tacky decorations and equally tacky Christmas cards and thought about how much fun it would be if I were spending an hour browsing the store with my special someone and actually enjoying the browsing. And I felt very peaceful, and very lonely all at once.