Time for some changes

With the new year, it's time to make some changes in my life. I know that's a completely typical thing to say, but it's true. I've been terribly depressed lately, and it's time to change that. I don't want to "try" to change it, I want to change it. Period. This is definately an easier said than done situation; I'm not deluding myself about that, but it's time. I don't like crying, and I don't like feeling terrible, and I certainly don't like wanting to crawl into bed and never get out from under the covers. Those feelings aren't conscious decisions, but it's time for me to really take action and change things instead of just saying "I'm trying". Today is the last day of 2006, and the first day of feeling good about myself and my life.

Retail Therapy

Whoop Whoop for Shopping! Heather and I hit the mall this afternoon and had a very prosperous trip. A stop at HMV didn't turn up anything for me, but Heather bought a couple of movies, then we went to Stiches and spend a good while in there. I ended up leaving with three button down shirts. Then a quick stop at Bryan's where they had a sale (glory!) and I bought a pair of slacks and a little sweater with built in satiny shirt. 5 pairs of ginch and a bra at La Senza, and I'm done! I'm only going into detail about my purchases because it felt so good to actually go out and feel like I had money to spend on clothes. To go out with the purpose to buy clothes...it felt really really good. Thank GOD for Christmas money! Woohoo!

Jessica Hearts Wine! And Mare!

Best surprise ever on thursday morning! Mare's friend Mel stopped by the station with a bottle of Sumac Ridge Cabernet Merlot! I don't know Mel, so I was pretty confused at first then she handed me the bag and insisted she take a picture for Mare. So there we go! Best surprised EVER! I love that Mare even takes care of me from waaaaay down in the Okanagan! It's going to be a happy new year for Jessica! Whoop Whoop! (I tell ya, Bill and I had a hard time not cracking it open at work!)
(If you're wondering why I'm wearing my wool coat, it's because the furnace at work was broken and it was cold)

I need a break...again

Ok, so I know it's pretty wussy of me to say this, but I need a vacation. I know, I haven't even been back at work for 2 full days yet, but I have so little drive to work...it's very difficult to keep trudging along. And I'm feeling lonely again. Oh well. I guess it's the weekend and a long weekend at that.

I have a bone to pick

Alright, so I know that Christmas is not about the material, blah blah blah, but I would think that after asking for the same thing two years in a row, someone would have taken the hint. But no. Still I find myself after a second Christmas has gone by and still no Hippopotamus! (A very warm thank you to Jenni who went me a picture of a hippopotamus) I assumed perhaps last year's lack of hippopotamuses was due to time constraints as, in all fairness, I did only start asking for one in late November. But it has been more than a year since I first asked and now I find myself going into 2007 remaining hippopotamus-less. I am hereby issuing a (stern) reminder to my so-called "Loved Ones" that next year when I sing "I Want a Hippopotamus for Christmas" I am not "being cute."
Thank you for your time, and happy new year
(You're all lucky the song isn't "I want a hippopotamus for New Years"

A Williams Family Christmas

Merry Christmas from the Williams household!

Me and My Mo

After Christmas morning and finally showering and getting dressed at 2:30, I went to Maureen's to give her a little prezzie.

Me and My Mo on Christmas Day.
I sometimes find it very odd to think that we've known each other for 12 years!

A Prezzie-free Christmas...right

We decided to do no prezzies this year...instead stick to stockings. Well, this is what THAT looks like in my household

Frank brought gifties from Hawaii and I totally made out like a bandit. It was much more relaxed, and really nice to have the whole family just hanging out together and eating a lovely breakfast of pancakes (and butter tarts! hee hee!)

See, I told you a made out like a bandit! Yay for Christmas with my family!
(Did I mention how much I miss Brad? sigh)

Trimming the Tree

I decorated the Christmas tree today. For many years now it's been my duty to decorate the tree. Sometimes Mum will come and help with the final bobbles. We switched to a fake tree a few years ago and a small part of me misses having a real tree, but then again, it was so frustrating getting prickled by the needles all the time, and getting sap on my fingers and trying not to break a branch putting ornaments on. Now I just move the branches around to fill in the gaps. So, just like always, I decorated the tree. I put the little Santa Claus ornament on at the very end, as is also tradition...I think I started that tradition, but it just seems wrong now to do anything else. Santa goes on last. Period. (I do always wonder just why it's called "trimming" the tree...?)

the Good the Bad and the Meh.

Well, we went out. Denise, Randy and I went to the Lodge for drinks and then off to the Twin. It was really quite busy, which is both good and bad. I had an interesting time. It seemed like the place was packed with people from my grad class, many of whom I haven't seen in years...something I was perfectly alright with. The good part about it was that most people didn't recognize me at all so there were no awkward moments of "hiiiii...so.....how are you anyway?" (which really is their way of saying "I guess I should say hi to you even though we NEVER spoke in high school because I was a snot-nosed bitch/and or jackass jock and I'm a big loser now and you're obviously way too good for me"...or something like that. HA!). Funny how having longish hair makes a person look so totally different that no one knows them anymore. Anyway, it was still awkward to have to see these people who I really don't care to remember. I haven't seen so many of good ole class of 2000 since....um...well...I guess sometime around 2000. So that was the bad part, but at least I felt like I looked pretty good. The good was dancing with Denise, and seeing everyone from the Twin, and actually having a platonic guy friend to dance with for a change (fellow formor twin employee, Jason...um...from Stewart....don't actually know his last name...and I don't know that I ever did). I saw my good buddy Ian for the first time in a couple of years at the very end of the night. And then we got a cab ride home afterwards. Furthermore, I didn't drink much, so I should be in the clear for tomorrow, and all my drinks were taken care of for me...which was also nice. Also, it's ALWAYS fun when my brother's friends check me out and then I get to see the sudden look of panic go across their faces when they realize I'm their friend's little sister. HA!

7 hours on a train...

that's right, it took 7 hours to get to Smithers from Prince George on the train today. We didn't even leave PG until close to 8:30, at which point the train had been boarded for at least 30 minutes. Apparently we got stuck behind a freight train just outside of Burns Lake and that was that. I was a whole hour late. Oh well. I slept until just before BL and then after that talked with the very nice lady sitting next to me. It was one of those pleasant conversations that didn't seem forced, and wasn't awkward when there was nothing to talk about. And the guy who was in charge of the passengers and the snack car was a very friendly cheerful french boy. He made the trip a lot better just by being so cheerful. But, the bottom line is that I'm here, train is a MUCH more civilized way to travel than going by bus, I'm now in the middle of doing my laundry, and I'm going out tonight. Whoop Whoop! Merry Merry!

T-Minus 7.5 hours...

until I leave for Smithers...well, leave for the train station to leave for Smithers...and then it'll be an hour until I actually get on the train, and then another 6 before I get to Smithers. It's been a while since I visited. It's strange to go back now. It feels familiar, but not like home anymore. Maybe it's just been too long since I've felt settled in any place to actually feel like anywhere is home. I haven't been really set up anywhere in such a long time...everywhere I am feels sort of like a "reasonable facsimile" of home...but no where actually feels like home. That being said, Smithers is where my family is, and therefore, I am going there for Christmas. I'm looking forward to getting away for a few days. It's been a while since I've been able to leave PG, and it's definately long overdue. So I guess it's more like t-minus 14.5 hours, but whatever.

It's really Christmas time!

Watching TBS tonight, and I realized it really is getting close to Christmas. How? There was a commercial for the Clapper. Yup. And it was really and truly the original commercial from when it was first released. You know the one, where the old woman is laying in bed and turns over to clap off the tv, which happens to be so old it actually has an antena. In the last commercial break there was a commercial for a chia pet. That's how I know it's Christmas. All the ancient products are re-advertised once again. Merry Christmas!

It Figures, doesn't it?

It was one of those murphy's law moments. Heather and I hit the gym after work (go us!) and I came home afterwards to have a quick supper and talk to Brad. Then I had plans to go to Heather's to watch The Devil Wears Prada. Seeing as I had just come home from the gym and hadn't showered (or even intended to), I decided to just put on a little deoderant, a hoodie, put the hair in a ponytail (which was massively frizzy due to a little relaxing in the steam room at the Y after our workout) and my pajama bottoms. Let me paint a picture of these pants for you: they are about 12 sizes too big, pale green flannel with little purple flowers all over them...the crotch hangs roughly halfway down my thighs and they have an elasticized/drawstring waist. I love these pants, they are terribly comfortable. I also put on my jacket (which looks way too small when I wear it over my BCIT hoodie), and my snowboots. Of course, not wanting to get my pajama pants wet, I tucked them into said boots. Now, under any circumstances (other than deathly illness) I would say there is no excuse for being dressed like this in public. But, seeing as I was going to watch a movie, I knew Heather wouldn't care. Furthermore, it's completely dark out, I was going to drive to her place, and really, what are the chances of anyone seeing me during the trek from my apartment to my car (parked directly out front because I knew I would going back out) and then from my car to Heather's apartment? Really, what are the chances? Very very slim. So imagine my surprise and delight when I left the apartment only to be approached by, (whoelse?) a police officer. Yup, a mountie, who, not only saw me in my dreadful state, but needed to ask me for assistance. He needed me to let him into the apartment building because no one was answering the buzzer. I couldn't even hide in the cloak of darkness, no, I had to go right back to the front entrance in the ever so flattering flourescent lights and then stand there and explain that there were in fact two different people managing the building and maybe he should try 201 first.

Yup. What are the chances? Well, if you're me, dressed like an escaped mental patient from PGRH trying to sneak into the dark to go to a friend's to watch a movie, I'd say those chances are pretty good.

Saskatchewan...

Ok, so I'm stalking people on myspace again. I can't help it; it's an addiction. In my travels through the masses of creeps, weirdos and perverts, I came across some who are not. One in particular, was a friend of mine from highschool who I haven't seen or heard from in at least a couple of years. I found out she's going to school in (of all places) Saskatchewan. Upon reading that I became very jealous and (get this) homesick. Not sad or lonely for Brad, no, I became homesick for Saskatchewan, and jealous that she's now living there. I want nothing more than to be back in the prairies...even if Brad weren't there I would be trying to get back. I miss the prairies. Weird, isn't it?

What to write about?

I've been debating what to write about all day. First I thought I would write about how I woke up this morning from a night of weird dreams and the first thing I did was reach over, grab my cell and call Brad to tell him how much I missed him.

Then I thought I would write about how I went to the mall and WalMart and Canadian Tire today and spent more than half of my day either driving or idling in parking lots while everyone tried to either find somewhere to park (ps. there were no spots), or leave the parking lot. I literally drove around for 10 minutes trying to find somewhere to park in the mall, and then it took me between 15 and 20 minutes to leave. Or about how people seem to completely loose their sense of decency during Christmas shopping. I've said it before, but it applies more than ever after today. An example: I was in a store isle in the mall and a lady with a shopping cart plowed down the isle staring straight ahead and (in a rather pissy tone) "Excuse me!" without even looking at me. I guess you might say it's better than when they don't bother to say anything, but I think I would almost rather not be acknowledged than have someone say something without looking at me or meaning it. Then again, beggars can't be choosers I guess.

And then I thought about mentioning how I did diddly this evening until my Mum called, and then chatted with her for a while, after which time I did another load of diddly. I decided to take a bath...a nice, long, candle-lit, relaxing music bath. I cleaned (read: scoured) the tub and drew my bath, only to find my hot-water tank had run out of hot water, most likely due to the cleaning (obsessively scouring) of the tub. I had a brilliant idea though, to boil the kettle a couple of times and pour the boiling water in the tub. Turns out that hardly makes a difference, and the ammount of boiling water added each time has pretty much cooled off to the temperature of the rest of the water by the time the kettle has boiled again. So I had a warm-ish bath with relaxin music and a few candles (even though the bathroom light was still on because in order to have my speakers on I had to have the light on, and I am sadly sans extension cord).

But then, when all was said and done, I decided none of those things was really worth writing about.

AHHHHH!!! More Snow???!!!!!

This is what I found when I went out to my car yesterday morning. (The last time I said that, there was a picture of my car with no tires...not as bad this time). What is that? 6? 7 inches of snow? in 14 hours? Well, in less than that because when I got up it was barely snowing anymore. Can I just point out for the billionth time that I hate snow, and I hate winter...when I have to deal with it. If it's just there being winter and not effecting my life, it's fine and kind of pretty. But when I have to sweep off my car for literally 10 minutes and end up covered in most of that snow myself...then we have a problem. Oh, and, might I add that I took that picture at 8 oclock...and it's still dark out. In fact, I just got up and the sun is JUST rising. Oy. I just have to make it to December 22nd when the days start to get longer again! Ra Ra! I can do it!

Great Night

I had a really good night tonight. I got home from work, made some supper, and called Brad. While we were talking he told me about how he had been feeling like baking a cake (out of the ordinary because he's the cook, I'm the baker), but the thought got me thinking about baking a cake. So, while on the phone with Brad, I baked a cake. Then after I said goodnight to Brad, I called my Bro and told his answering machine that I hoped he and Christie will have a great time lounging on the beach in Hawaii, and I'll see him when he gets back.

Then I called Mare. It was 8 when I called, and we got off the phone at 11:15 because her battery died. I don't know how it happens, but we chat once a week and every time we can just keep talking for hours and hours (and hours aparently)! She is one of those rare friends that can actually make that happen and it never feels strained and the only reason we have to stop talking is because of a dead battery (and, honestly, 3:15 hours of continual use ain't bad). So to Mare I say "Sha-na-woot!" and I should make up my newscast and then watch the other guys go racing out to catch a story....mwahahahahaha!

(P.S. I have the greatest phone card EVER! I've already talked with Mare for over 5 hours and I STILL have time left on it, and it was just a $5 card!)

I Heart Files!

For the past two (going on three) days I've been trying to deal with the obscene stacks of files in the newsroom, and, after that ammount of time, I feel like perhaps taking another route would be in our best interest...maybe something like this:

When shit hits the fan...I'm your go-to girl

Today the power went off at the station. Yup. I was up to my elbows in files and all of a sudden...no power. It was at that moment that I realized the downfall of my career choice: we have to be there when shit hits the fan. Natural disasters? We're the ones people turn to. Power outages? Yup, us too. Most people, when faced with workplace with no electricity would be allowed to go home, but nope, we in the media are expected to stick around and field calls and get in touch with the people who "know" this stuff.

my day

Heather called me this afternoon to see if I wanted to do something today, and I think, maybe, I've figured out why we don't hang out all that often: because when we get together we can't stop! We went for lunch at 2:30, then went to see The Holiday which was one of the best chick flicks ever...and definitely the best one I've seen in a very long time. Heather turned to me afterwards and said "I don't want it to end!" After that we went for coffee and then to the Holiday Festival on Ice at CN centre, which was really neat. After that it was BP for cheesecake and then a brief stint at the Rum Jungle and then back home. Damn near 12 hours of fun!
Let's break it down a little more. The Holiday: I laughed, I cried (at all the happy parts...I'm such a sucker), and I left feeling a huge ache in my chest from missing Brad, which means it was a success. Kate Winslet was great, Cameron Diaz (who I'm not a big fan of) was good, Jude Law gets a thumbs up from me and Jack Black was...well...very believable as a goofy-yet-genuine-sweet-guy.
The Holiday Festival on Ice: Very very cool. I like figure skating, but I definitely would not say I'm a huge fan or anything of the sort, but this was extremely entertaining and very impressive. I think there were around 4 standing ovations...Maybe more? Jamie Sale and David Pelletier were definitely the crowd favorites, which is totally understandable because they were amazing. Apparently when they film these sorts of things to run on tv, it's pre-taped and the skaters come back out afterwards and re-do anything they messed up on. Well, Oksana Baiul made a little error in one of her routines (though I don't think anyone noticed, I certainly don't remember it), so she came out to try the particular part again and tripped. Then, rather than get up and try again (as a couple of others had done) she got up, and made a huge diva-exit tossing the curtain to the side and looking more than a little pissed off. The entire crowd was silent for a moment and then started to murmur and laugh in a totally disbelieving way. I laughed. A lot. As did Heather. What a diva! Anyway, that will air on CBC at 9pm on December 21st. It should be a good show...and I'll probably be watching just to see how they pieced it all together.
The Rum Jungle...well...kind of sucked. Meh...I'm not going to say it was a waste of time or anything like that, and it wasn't a waste of money because ladies don't pay cover. It was alright...nothing great, nothing bad. Except this one girl who had a somewhat voluptuous chest and was wearing nothing but a white tanktop. I'm assuming it had a shelf bra inside, but that shelf was screaming for mercy, because I tell ya, the girls needed a little bit more of a boost than a simple piece of elastic could ever provide. Did I mention it was white? or that her nipple was getting dangerously close to the top lacy hem? Or that it looked like she may "accidentally" dump beer down her damn-near-see-through-top? Heather and I were waiting with bated breath for the moment that never came.
And now it's off to bed...I'm sleepy.

I Heart Free Samples

I didn't get any mail today, which is fine because most of the time it's just bills anyway, but today I did get something else in the mail. I received a free sample from Ziploc. I love free samples, but it seems to me giving away one ziploc bag seems a little...well...pointless. What will I do with one? I guess they gave coupons too, which is nice...but one measly little ziploc? Anyway, nice of them to send a sample I guess, but then, as I was looking at the coupons it said "see why 4 out of 5* people prefer Ziploc's new Double Zipper bag!" and then the little * at the bottom of the page said "among those with preference versus store brand"...which means those 4 who prefer it could have been out 30 who said "I really don't care" and the other 1 was a student who said "Hell, whatever's cheaper cause I'm one poor ass mo-fo!"

EARLY mornings...

This morning I get up at 3. Yup. 3 am. And that's not the worst of it, I had to set my alarm for 2:15 so I can have my necessary 45 minutes of hitting the snooze button, and then I got up at 3. The strangest part about it was that it wasn't hard at all. I just got up, turned on the coffee, and hopped in the shower. I even had the energy to do my hair and put on a little makeup! I got into work at 4, did my thing for a while, and left at 12:30...it really doesn't get much better than that! Now I have the whole rest of the afternoon to do whatever I damn well feel like! PLUS I managed to get some xmas parcels mailed off...two very special people should be expecting stuff in the mail in aout 3 business days! Yay!

Another update...

First off, let me just say Thank you so much to everyone who was worried about me and suggested I buy BCAA...I think you're right. Now then, car crisis averted! well, mostly, and hopefully it stays that way. Here's the low-down:
Bill came and got me jsut after 7, and I called Tony (5th and Tabor) who said I would have to get it towed. I called a tow company who told me it would be between 4-5 hours. Yep, hours. The roads in PG are absolute mayhem and all of the tow companies are backed up hours and hours because people are in the ditch and stuck, etc. So, when I finished work, Heather drove me home around 3 and I still hadn't been towed (not that I begrudge that, because, seriously, I feel bad for the tow-truck drivers and dispatchers this week, they must have HUNDREDS of angry customers waiting for help). Heather asked if I was going to try starting my car one more time, just in case, and I said why not. Low and behold, it STARTED! Woohoo! But the engine light was on, so I called 5th and Tabor and Ian said I could probably try and bring it in. Heather followed me to the mechanic and we dropped of my poor little car in their capable hands.

(Side plot: We then went to do some errands. We went to Rogers Video because she was having some trouble with her cell phone, and while we were there we started looking at movies. Pirates of the Caribbean 2 is on video now and I said I hoped to get it for Christmas (or with Christmas money, or after Christmas or something of the sort). I said it jokingly because my family is having a prezzie-free Christmas, but she snatched up a copy and ran to the till saying "I will!" I protested, but she's persistent (and so sweet), saying it was an early Christmas present.)

Back at 5th and Tabor an hour later and Ian told me there was water in my fuel filter and in my gas tank, so he replaced the filter, put some fuel line anti-freeze into my gas tank. Tony said it may be from using a bad kind of gas...which, I admit, I filled up from a different location last time (and will never go back there again!). He said it could have been triggered because the weather was getting warmer and the water wasn't mixing with the gas anymore...or, I think that's what he said...it made sense at the time, but I've forgotten already. Anyway, I didn't have to have it towed, it was a cheap fix, I have a car again, I know what NOT to do and where NOT to fill up, Heather and I chatted for hours and hours tonight, and we have a wonderful movie to watch this week!
So again, thank you to everyone who was worried for me...I appreciate it! All is well again...for a while...fingers crossed! Knock on wood for me!

update

my car didn't start. I'm getting it towed to the mechanic. Fuck.

Stupid F-ing winter!

I got up nice and early this morning so I could go in and learn how to do the morning show with Bill. I was up at 4:45, went and had my shower, did my hair, got dressed, got my coffee, grabbed stuff for lunch, and even grabbed my gym bag for after work. I was out the door at 5:30, just enough time to warm up my car and drive into work to be there for 6. Well, that was the plan anyway. (side note: I'll bet if you read the story about my tires being stolen you think you know where this is going! ha!) I got out to my car and unlocked it. Then I had to hip-check my door to break the ice and get it to open. So I hopped in, and turned the key, hoping it would start. I didn't plug it in last night because it was only supposed to get to -5 or so, and there's really not much point. Success! It started, if not a little grudgingly, but it started and that was the main thing. I got to work scraping off the ice from the windows and all of a sudden it stopped. My car just stopped running. I climbed back in to make sure it actually had stopped and not just started idling differently, and sure enough, it stopped. So I tried the ingnition again and again to no avail. I went back into my apartment and turned on the outlet outside for the block heater and plugged it in and that brings me to now...an hour later, hoping against hope that it will start. Cause if it doesn't...well, I might cry. And I'm at the point now, where everything that goes wrong makes me more and more fed up with Prince George, it doesn't matter whether the thing that went wrong has anything to do with the city, it's all a tick against it.

Vista Christmas Party

Last night was the staff Christmas party at the White Goose Bistro. Apparently it was the first year that all of the staff showed up, somethin Gary said was a testament to our commitment (or something...I don't remember exactly, I was a little drunk), but I'm pretty sure it's because we're in radio and we're poor and I don't know anyone in radio who will turn down free food. that's just my thought though. Dinner was delicious, and the company was lovely. Heather was my date, we at at a table with Bill and Jessica, Wil and Jason, and Hartley and Brenda (who I had never met, but is a wonderful lady!) Pope and Kelly even showed up, despite being very pregnant (it was actually the day after her due date). It was a good night...and I didn't get home until 3.

News People are classy! LALALALALALALA!

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Me, Gary and Heather...not sure what G-Lo's looking at...
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Ok, so maybe not that classy
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Bill and Jessica...looking...where?
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Crowns are the new Black
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All hail King Bill
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Jessica and Jessica
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The Boys
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a little Christmas in my apartment

My little apartment, sadly lacking in Christmas cheer, got a little boost yesterday. Denise came to visit Randy in PG, so I asked her if she could swing by my parents' house and pick up my little Christmas tree. So now my apartment is no longer lacking in the Christmas Spirit. However, the entire of Prince George seems to be...or rather, the ones who go to the mall seem to be. I went yesterday to pick up a couple of things and it was a ZOO, no kidding. A total zoo. People need to settle down a little, realize there are other people with things to do too, and just because they're in a hurry doesn't mean no one else matters. Let's just settle down a little and enjoy Christmas, ok?

No More Sicky

My arm hurts. I went to the flu clinic today and got my flu shot. It was the first time I've gone on my own and gotten one. I know, silly hey? But whatever, I hate shots. I hate blood tests and I hate needles. But I did it, and I was a big girl and got it done all by myself. I was going to go to the gym after work today, but my stupid arm hurt too much...every time I move it, it aches, so I could just imagine how uncomfortable it would feel to do any sort of exercise. So I turned into a lazy ass and didn't go.

It's beginning to look a lot like Christmas!

Heather and I went to the Light Up tonight at the Civic Centre and toured the Festival of Trees. It was only -18 outside, but it was snowing and it reminded me of Midnight Madness shopping in Smithers every year when the snow is falling, people are all bundled up and drinking hot chocolate wandering mainstreet. It made me feel nostalgic. And Yes, that Snowman is dressed like a Pirate! Ho-ho-Yarrr!

A Nation Within Canada

I have decided to jump on the bandwagon. Yes, it's true. I have decided to declare myself A Nation Within Canada. Why not? If the government will recognize the contributions the Quebecois have made to the country, then why can't it recognize my contributions? I pay my taxes, I have thrown thousands of dollars into the economy with my post secondary education, I'm a good person who cares about others, I send out public service announcements when there are things the good people of Prince George need to know about. I would say I make plenty of contributions.
When the motion was first put forward to recognize Quebec as a nation within Canada I was under the impression it was a territory sort of thing, as it, the Province is a nation within Canada, but then Premier Campbell said the Aboriginal should be given the same recognition and talk shifted from Quebec as a province to the Quebecois as a people. Therefore, since it no longer appears to be a question of physical land, but a question of people, I declare myself a nation within Canada.
Welcome to Jessicadia.

It's the bra really...

Your results:
You are Wonder Woman

Wonder Woman 80% Superman 75% Supergirl 75% Spider-Man 70% The Flash 60% Green Lantern 60% Robin 55% Iron Man 55% Catwoman 50% Hulk 30% Batman 25%

You are a beautiful princess with great strength of character.

Click here to take the Superhero Personality Quiz

Christmas is costly!

Apparently Christmas will cost $18,920 (and 59 cents) this year. Well, that's what I read on MSN this morning. They ran a story about what the 12 days of Christmas would cost in today's world. That's up $571.72 from last year apparently. Who knew? Seems a little extreme, though, doesn't it? So please, I don't want anyone to go overboard this year...I'll be satisfied with just 10 days of Christmas...12 just seems excessive!

no undies + no coins = laundry in the sink

that's right. out of ginch and out of socks, and I didn't have any coins for the washing machines downstairs, so I washed all my ginch and socks in the kitchen sink. It's not like I couldn't have got quarters, but the machines only take OLD quarters, as in, before 2000. Anything newer just gets spit out, so it's ridiculously difficult to get enough quarters to do a load of laundry. I hate the machines. I need to figure out something different to do here because laundry in the sink...well, it's not a lot of fun. Though I did save close to 2 bucks....so maybe it's got its perks...hmmm...aside from the wrinkly fingers I now suffer from....

I had another dream about England

I dreamt that I was going to England. It's getting pretty foggy now that I've been awake a little while, but from what I remember at first it was Bill and Jessica and myself planning the trip. We drove to Edmonton to catch the flight, and then it changed and it was me and Maureen...but our flight didn't leave until 1am or something like that, so we were trying to kill some time in Edmonton. It was and Edmonton I've never seen, and even though it was nighttime, it was still bright as day. I remember being so happy. I dream about going to England a lot. Every month or two, but this time was different because I have my passport now, so I wasn't scrambling to find it or terrified that I would be stopped by customs. I had packed really light and was totally ready to go. I was so excited to get there. I must have been on the verge of waking up through parts because I was aware of having tried before but never made it because of not having my passport. I couldn't wait to get there again...but I woke up before I did...I tried to go back to sleep, but couldn't. I want to go back.

Warning: Very gloomy moody posting

I don't know what's the matter with me. I'm feeling so lonely and blue. I feel like I should write about what's bothering me, but the last thing I want to hear right now is "it will be alright" or "don't worry, things will change". I just feel like such a failure when those words of encouragement don't help at all and it just makes me feel worse, so please don't. I think I'll just cry for a while and maybe that will wash things away.

Silent Night

I was walking through Sears this evening and felt so terribly lonely. I know, what a silly place to be lonely, but I was. The store wasn't very busy, but it wasn't deserted either. They were playing Christmas music, which under any other mood I would be furious to hear what with it being November 23rd, but it was an instrumental version of some Christmas carol and it reminded me of something. Some Christmas from years ago I go, not a specific time or a specific memory, more of a collage of all of the Christmases since I've been old enough to shop on my own. I saw a couple I know shopping, but I know them individually, so to see them as a couple made it seem really sweet. They were laughing and talking with someone they knew and I walked on by without saying anything. They didn't notice me anyway. I kept walking around the store looking at the tacky decorations and equally tacky Christmas cards and thought about how much fun it would be if I were spending an hour browsing the store with my special someone and actually enjoying the browsing. And I felt very peaceful, and very lonely all at once.

the "Boyfriend" Conundrum

The title of "boyfriend" and "girlfriend" is a tricky one. The point I'm getting at is that technically, Brad is my boyfriend. We are not married, so he is not my husband. We are not engaged, so he is not my fiance. The issue I have with the term is the broad spectrum of relationship stages it encompasses. To me, he is more than my boyfriend, yet, how do I get that across to people? The term "Partner" sounds so...lesbian. Yet, boyfriend, to anyone who is not familiar with the specifics of a relationship, sounds unstable. "Boyfriend"s come and go. How is it possible to get across to someone who doesn't know you that a relationship is secure when the term boyfriend has been used? I ask because I fear the term "boyfriend" may have sabotaged my chance of making a move in life, and I'm worried about doing damage control. Thoughts?

How do you know?

Talking to my good friend tonight on MSN. She told me that things are going amazingly well with her new boyfriend, something I was delighted to hear, especially because she had been dating a guy I commonly refered to as Dickface...and when I say "commonly" I mean I refered to him as Dickface when I was talking to her about him, or my friends, or my parents, or, well, pretty much anyone. So things are going really well, they've known each other for about 6 months, and I guess he knew from day one that she was the one for him and was determined to get her. And now that he has, he's not letting go. She told me they're looking at buying a house in the spring and looking at engagement rings! I'm so glad that she's found someone who makes her so happy, and that loves her daughters and that her daughters love...it's wonderful to hear. It does make me wonder though, what makes it "the right time"? Most of my friends who are married were dating their partner for around 5 years before they took the next step, but then you hear about people like this who just know from the get go. How do you know?

ARGH

Feeling super grumpy at the moment. I had a pretty good day at work, but I find my hold on sanity here is so precarious that at the drop of a hat I can be pissed off. It just takes a small something to set me off and make me totally angry and completely throw off the decent day I was having. Today, that thing that set me off was something that went wrong in my 5 oclock cast and then the way a co-worker dealt with it. I won't go into further detail here because, well, I don't know who reads this and I don't want to say something that I will regret later. Needless to say, it was rude and uncalled for and I'm choked. Partly because I didn't say anything. I know I SHOULD have said something, but honestly, if I had, it would have turned ugly on both sides. But it still bothers me when I don't say something after I've been spoken to rudely. It reminds me of the way I used to let people walk all over me and I hated being that person. Now I stick up for myself...well, most of the time, anyway. I guess it's a matter of picking your battles. Still, it pisses me off, and now I'm grumpy and really aggitated. ARGH!

Choices

For all the good it did last time, I'm going to say once again, wish me luck! Yet another application thrown out there...who knows...and who knows if it's even a viable option for me as a job. But I can't help but think what's the harm? Even if it's not an ideal job, there's no harm in applying, right? Who knows. I'm actually back to liking work a little more, and hopefully things will keep getting better, but that just means I'm back to making a choice between work and Brad again. Ok, so it's not really that much of a choice, afterall, I don't love work anymore and I hate PG and always worrying that I'm going to get mugged on my way to the car from my apartment, and I want to start a life with Brad again, so it's not much of a choice, but it's more of a choice than it was.