Saturday, September 23, 2006
Arrrrrgh! I wish it were tomorrow. I have a lot of travelling, but at least when I'm travelling I feel like I'm getting closer to arrival...even if the particular part of travel involves a (very) long layover in any number of cities.
Must go to bed...must make it NO more sleeps!
Thursday, September 21, 2006
I'm having one of those days where I feel in a funk, I feel depressed and very low. But does anybody bother to ask me how my life is going? Hell no. Nothing beyond the "how's it going?" in passing, which is always answered with a "alright, and you?" no matter how I'm feeling. It would be clear to those who cared to look that I am not, in fact, alright. But no one cares to look. This is not a big deal as far as most of the people at work goes, because there are not many I would feel right dumping my problems on anyway. But there are some that I have given my ear to, that I have spent hours listening to the problems of, and that I have put a lot of effort into trying to help...and they are so wrapped up in their own lives that they don't notice. And that's just fine. It just puts things in perspective. I miss my real friends, who would actually bother to notice that things are off with me today.
Wednesday, September 20, 2006
Thursday, September 14, 2006
Monday, September 04, 2006
Anyway, the bottom line is I understand why little kids love spinning so much, but at the same time, wonder why I never felt sick after spinning when I was little?
I bet you're wondering why I was spinning in the first place...well, why the hell not?
*One old boyfriend you can imagine going back to (even if you wouldn't) and one who reminds you of how far you've come.
*Enough money within your control to move out and rent a place on your own, even if you never want or need to.
*Something perfect to wear if the employer or man of your dreams wants to see you in an hour.
*A purse, a suitcase and an umbrella you're not ashamed to be seen carrying.
*A youth you're content to move beyond.
*A past juicy enough that you're looking forward to retelling it in your old age.
*A set of screwdrivers, a cordless drill and a black lace bra.
*One friend who always makes you laugh and one who lets you cry.
*A good piece of furniture not previously owned by anyone else in your family.
*Eight matching plates, wineglasses with stems and a recipe for a meal that will make your guests feel honored.
*A resume that is not even the slightest bit padded.
*A feeling of control over your destiny.
*A skin care regime, an exercise routine and a plan for dealing with those few other facets of life that don't get better after 30.
*A solid start on a satisfying career, a satisfying relationship and all those other facets of life that do get better.
Every Woman Should Know:
*How to fall in love without losing yourself.
*How you feel about having kids.
*How to quit a job, break up with a man and confront a friend without ruining the friendship.
*When to try harder and when to walk away.
*How to kiss a man in a way that communicates perfectly what you would and wouldn't like to happen next.
*How to have a good time at a party you'd never choose to attend.
*How to ask for what you want in a way that makes it most likely you'll get it.
*That you can't change the length of your calves, the width of your hips or the nature of your parents.
*That your childhood may not have been perfect, but it's over.
*What you would and wouldn't do for love or money.
*How to live alone, even if you don't like it.
*Who you can trust, who you can't, and why you shouldn't take it personally.
*Where to go - be it your best friend's kitchen table or a charming inn hidden in the woods - when your soul needs soothing.
*What you can and can't accomplish in a day, a month, and a year.
*Why they say life begins at 30.
I'm feeling a little torn between being lonely and enjoying the feeling of independance. My apartment is quiet and I like the feeling that everything here is mine. Living on my own was something I never thought I would actually do. It comes from believing the position I'm in in a relationship would simply continue to escalate, and negate the need to ever live solo. It sort of seems everything I promise myself I will never do turns out to happen.
- "I will never live in Res" - Whoops, two years running and happened to meet a terrific guy there.
- "I will never take the bus from BC to Saskatchewan ever again" - whoops, twice at Christmas
- "I will never give (insert name of guy here) another chance" - whoops... it applies to more guys than I could name anyway, and to all levels of relationship from the crush stage to the actual dating stage.
- "I will never speak to her again" - ok, so that's from when I was little kid and I got into a fight with my friends because they wouldn't let me play with their cabbage patch kid or something.
- "I will never live beyond my means again" - yeah, well, apparently I didn't learn that lesson the first time around.
- "I will never let myself be treated like a doormat by a guy again" - yeah, well, let's just say the "anti-doormat" clause is a recent addition to my life, and when I said it last time, I may as well have gotten "WELCOME" tattooed on my forehead.
Well, I think you get the idea. It never works out the way I say it will when I say "I will never..." or "I refuse..." So I try not to say that anymore, because usually it's something I feel rather strongly about and then feel very sheepish when I actually do end up doing what I said I would never do.
I don't really know where I'm going with this...just sort of a contemlative babble I suppose.
In other news: I love this site: http://www.menarebetterthanwomen.com/ clearly written by a chick. love it.
Sunday, September 03, 2006
the weird part of me is thinking about these people how I knew them in highschool. These people who went out all the time and got drunk and screwed around all the time. I know that was highschool, and it's definately not fair to hold things from those four years against anyone...afterall it was 6 year ago (holy crap!), but it's so strange to think of these kids getting hitched and being adults...even the ones I knew after highschool I still think of silly little first year university students...the fact many of them are done university too and trying to get real jobs blows my mind too. It's much the same as looking at someone you used to babysit and seeing them at graduation, or (even worse) at the bar! How did they grow up? And when did that happen? Weird